ATLRetro

by Anthony Taylor
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK – (1975) – 4K UHD + BRD
4.5 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Rachel Roberts, Anne-Louise Lambert, Vivean Gray
Director: Peter Weir
Rated: NR
Studio: Criterion Collection
Region: 4k UHD – Region Free, BRD – Region A Locked
BRD Release Date: 04/09/2024
Audio Format: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1
Video Codec: Native 4K HDR: HDR10
Resolution: 2160p
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1 Original aspect ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 107 minutes
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Australia had a fairly robust film production industry between the great wars, but when J. Arthur Rank bought up the largest theater chains after WWII and discouraged local production the industry went fallow, producing an average of only two films a year from 1946 until 1969. Finally, in 1973 the government funded the new Australian Film, Television, and Radio School and the dam was broken. New talent flooded in to learn the craft of filmmaking and the beginning of what would be called the Australian New Wave began as names like Bruce Beresford, Gillian Armstrong, George Miller, Philip Noyce, and Peter Weir began producing their own films for local and international distribution. Weir began his trade in the late 1960s making short films and television programs and made a critical breakthrough with his first feature, THE CARS THAT ATE PARIS (1974). His next film would gain international acclaim and a gave him a reputation for mesmerizing work that goes against the traditions of storytelling in reaching for something deeper, something resonant even if unrecognizable.

Based on Joan Lindsay’s 1967 novel of the same name, PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK is a period piece set in 1900 that begins with a student outing from a girl’s school in Victoria to a local rock formation. After lunch, as most of the teachers and girls nap, three students explore the formation and mysteriously disappear, as does one of the teachers. Questions are asked, investigations are made, an inquiry is called, and both teachers and students search for answers to questions they never thought to ask until their disappearance. Theories abound, suggestions and inferences are made, accusations bubble to the surface; but no answers come. When one of the students is found alive but with no memory of what happened to herself or the others, the mystery and sense of horror at what might have befallen the girls intensifies.

Weir has publicly said how disappointed he was by the dull outcomes of Hitchcock films (the Butler did it!), as well as the simple explanations offered by Sherlock Holmes to the complex mysteries he solved, so he eschewed tying the film’s mystery up at the end into a neat bow as a present to the viewer. He expects us to enjoy the journey and never care for the destination, which will certainly rile audiences with an appetite for standard storytelling conventions. No comforting Campbellian moments or traditional mythical narrative tropes are applied in a broad manner in PICNIC, we have to understand that the questions are the answers Weir wishes us to savor.

The film’s setting in the year 1900 is thematically important. Just as America faced a “New Frontier” in which no one and nothing was safe after the assassination of JFK in 1963, the Victorian age was ending, and the future was an enigma to Britons all over the world at the turn of the century. It was a time in which everything was open to change, and opinion and influence no longer made any difference in one’s personal outcome. Weir embraces the enigma rather than the explanation, and invites viewers to do the same; ”What we see and what we seem are but a dream, a dream within a dream” says doomed girl Miranda (quoting Edgar Allan Poe), played by Anne-Louise Lambert, at the opening of the film. And like the layers of dreams within dreams, the story of Hanging Rock unfolds, but never unveils. It echoes the zeitgeist of a people surrounded by harsh terrain and aboriginal mysticism, ruled at a distance by a monarch in her final months.

Instead, the film lingers on images, on sounds, expressions, and texture. The cinematography of Russell Boyd is soft and layered, dreamlike in places as the story is, a perfect contextual pairing. His work on Weir’s later films benefits from his experiences here, in combining layered atmosphere with a thematically based documentary style to create a harmonic visual resonance at almost imperceptible levels.

Criterion Collection’s presentation of PICNIC is sourced from a new 4K restoration from the original camera negative supervised and approved by Director Weir and Director of Photography Boyd, and feels both delicate and robust at the same time – delicate because of the nature of the visuals, and robust in color, tonal density, and texture. The package includes a 4K UHD disc as well as a Blu-ray. Also included are an interview with Weir; a program on the making of the film, featuring interviews with Executive Producer Patricia Lovell, Producers Hal McElroy and Jim McElroy, and cast members; an introduction by film scholar David Thomson, author of The New Biographical Dictionary of Film; an on-set documentary hosted by Lovell and featuring interviews with Weir, actor Rachel Roberts and source-novel author Joan Lindsay; HOMESDALE (1971), a black comedy by Weir; the original trailer; an essay by author Megan Abbott; and an excerpt from film scholar Marek Haltof’s 1996 book Peter Weir: When Cultures Collide. The 4k disc is region free, and the Blu-ray is Region A locked.

This movie is considered to be the best Australian film of all time by most of the Australian film industry, critics, and academia. Like the questions it poses regarding its central incident, unanswered and never ending, PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK embeds itself within you. And though it may slip from thought for years at a time, it never fades.

Anthony Taylor is not only the Minister of Science, but also Defender of the Faith. His reviews and articles have appeared in magazines such as Screem, Fangoria, Retro Fan, Famous Monsters of Filmland, SFX, Video WatcH*Dog, and many more. He is the author of the book The Art of George Wilson from Hermes Press.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

Portions of this review were previously published in Screem Magazine.

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

WEIRD SCIENCE– 1985
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Paxton, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Rusler
Director: John Hughes
Rated: PG-13
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: 4K UHD Region Free
BRD Release Date: August 22, 2023
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 (48kHz, 24-bit), English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 97 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

The adolescent weekend sleepover is a realm of heightened possibility. Two like minds so alike they’ve agreed to spend the weekend together for the purpose of none other than to mine any variety of wall-to-wall amusement for a solid 48 hours. The usual parental mandates are loosened for these very special and often rare occasions, and in the best-case scenarios, parents are otherwise preoccupied or missing all together. These are the instances when the best laid plans between two inseparable cohorts come to bear. This reviewer’s most memorable sleepovers cultivated firing BB guns inside the house and peeping soft-core cable programming through heavy-lidded eyes. The adolescent sleepover is a dare to accomplish missions none would venture alone, and exists as a living laboratory of the pubescent mind.

In John Hughes’ WEIRD SCIENCE, high school dweebs Gary and Wyatt (Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own hormonally charged devices for a weekend in Wyatt’s sprawling, well-stocked palatial home. The boys ingest piles of snacks and classic Universal horror films while pouting about the unrequited attention of two girls from the cheerleading squad—Deb and Hilly (Suzanne Snyder and Judie Arnonson).

Watching James Whale’s 1931 feature FRANKENSTEIN, and sizing up Wyatt’s state-of-the-art computer rig, Gary concocts the idea that the boys create the perfect woman for themselves. Plotted as a simulation only, inexplicable “weird science” occurs and produces the real live woman of Gary and Wyatt’s dreams in the form of the very beautiful and very adult Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). Lisa is not only the boys’ perfect female companion, but she’s also supercharged with powers to provide sports cars and fake IDs out of thin air. It’s the time-honored tale of the search for personal identity through unlimited means told in the horror-adjacent tactic of playing god by building bodies for exacting impossible demands.

Most famous for manifesting classic teenybopper angst and humor in his films, grown-up teenager John Hughes executes the most primal version of his fascinations in WEIRD SCIENCE. Charged with sex and wit, the story is a raw look into the teenage male psyche obsessed with the arduous task of solving identity, female desires, and ultimately their alpha roles within society. It’s a film so puerile and reactive, dare I say it could hardly be made today.

With barely any plot to get in the way of the story, the film unfolds on in-the-moment impulses of two boys with the world conceivably at their disposal. The first thing the guys do with Lisa once she appears is what any teenage boy would do: watch her shower. Then it’s a night on the town culminating in a scene that will shock the youthful progressive minds of the present day as Gary not only drinks and smokes as an underage young adult, but talks in jive and refers to “big-titty eighth-grade bitches.” The scene’s inappropriate nature charges it with a new sense of humor for modern audiences. In 1985 it falls in line with the typical brand of silliness found in most 80s comedies, but in 2023 it’s hilarious because it’s shocking.

With Lisa at their side, Gary and Wyatt seem unstoppable, but Wyatt’s older brother Chet (Bill Paxton) – a living roadblock armed with extortion and blackmail tactics – isn’t afraid to wave a gun around. When Chet isn’t on screen bilking Wyatt for money and slinging inappropriate slurs, he exists in the background reminding everyone of a reality beyond the fantasy Gary and Wyatt have created for themselves, that when Mom and Dad get home, there’s gonna be some explaining to do.

Deb and Hilly’s current love interests also exist as reminders of Gary and Wyatt’s uncool place in teenage hierarchy. Ian and Max (Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Rusler) are the pants-shucking high school bullies the boys are forced to compete against for the fickle affections of the freshmen females. Gary and Wyatt’s requisite trip to the mall winds up drenched in cherry-flavored public humiliation that has Lisa coming to their rescue with a couple of sports cars and an all-inclusive invitation to a climactic party at Wyatt’s house where the limits of the weekend fantasy knows no bounds.

The mechanics of Gary and Wyatt’s reverie become less and less important as the film moves along. How and why Lisa is able to do the things she does ceases to be of any concern for the boys, the audience, and even director Hughes himself. The final act, culminating in the party of the century, is fantasy unhinged as grand pianos are sucked up chimneys, nuclear missiles are willed into existence, and a barbaric motorcycle gang crashes into the scene at last forcing Gary and Wyatt to grow beyond dweeby status and establish their own identities as iconic cool.

Arrow Video presents WEIRD SCIENCE on 4K Ultra-High-Definition Blu-Ray disc. This new release is loaded with interviews from casting director Jackie Burch, editor Chris Lebenzon, composer Ira Newborn, makeup artist Craig Reardon, and supporting actor John Kapelos. The disc also includes the extended and edited-for-TV versions of the film as well as the archival documentary IT’S ALIVE! RESURRECTING WEIRD SCIENCE. Other features are an illustrated booklet with writing on the film by authors Alexandra Heller-Nicholas and Amanda Reyes and a double-sided fold-out poster of original and newly commissioned artwork by Tracie Ching.

The magic of Gary and Wyatt’s fantasy weekend is never explained, and ultimately it’s not important as everything returns to normal seconds before Wyatt’s parents return home. The story is at best a heightened construct of the teenage mind, amplifying the trials of pimply-faced noggins and hormone-enraged hearts, reminding us of the politics and romance that rule the adolescent institution.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of Lucas’s content, be sure to check out his Linktree.

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

WATERWORLD – 1995
3 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino
Director: Kevin Reynolds
Rated: Not Rated
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: 4K UHD Region Free
BRD Release Date: June 27, 2023
Audio Formats: English: Dolby Atmos; English: Dolby TrueHD 7.1 (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 135 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

Children are the future, and what better way to impress upon them the horrors of the depleted ozone layer and melted ice caps in store for them than with a movie made exclusively for nine-year-old boys? Director Kevin Reynolds appeals to the swashbuckling MAD MAX-inspired tyke living inside all of us with his 1995 film WATERWORLD, placing the post-apocalypse on the high seas.

Kevin Costner stars as “the Mariner” in this briny adventure, who after being outed by the nearest junk atoll community as a “Muto” for his “ichthy” qualities, finds himself on the run with a salvage dealer named Helen (Tripplehorn) and the little girl she cares for, Enola (Majorino). The trio is pursued across the flooded globe by a gang known as the Smokers, led by charismatic baddie Deacon (Hopper) who wants Enola for the mysterious tattoo on her back that is rumored to be a map that leads to the only remaining dry land on the planet.

Costner’s Mariner isn’t just a reluctant hero and custodian of the two stowaways needing his gigantic trimaran boat to get around, he’s brooding, and contemplative, and… kind of an asshole. What Mel Gibson did for the post-apocalyptic moody disposition, Costner turns into smug and unlikable. Part of the problem is we’re not sure what he really wants; he’s got gills. He’s got webbed feet. He can get to the earth’s drowned cities and plunder Davy Jones’s locker like any pro fish-man could. Outside of fending off scurvy (and why hasn’t he evolved out of that problem?) Mariner, with his enormous seafaring rig and its 50-caliber machine gun, is pretty well set for whatever the high seas throws at him. The only thing we know he wants is these helpless women off his boat! It’s completely understandable that the film’s hero should have some advantages, but Mariner’s situation leaves him at the top of the food chain. Lack of incentive and Costner’s prickly, heavy-handed reluctance doesn’t do much to get us rooting for him.

Deacon and his gang of ruffians, while wildly more entertaining, also kind of have it made. They have jet skis; they have a cool hideout. They somehow have dry cigarettes and plenty of gasoline. And other than belittling his own people and making a few empty threats, Deacon doesn’t do anything inherently bad. He eventually gets around to kidnapping Enola, but he’s not even a creep about it. Dennis Hopper’s Deacon comes off more like a weird uncle who also just happens to be a high seas buccaneer. That’s not to say he’s not loads of fun to watch; Hopper (as is often the case in this film) delivers mundane lines like, “That’s why I love children: no guile,” with the relatable dryness of a man quietly frustrated after having just been insulted by a Smoker youth. Deacon wants to be the mustache twirling bad guy, but he’s ultimately just ineffective and comes off as downright lovable.

The narrative problems that plague WATERWORLD don’t prevent it from being the fun, daring adventure it wants to be. The overall swaggering tone of the film is often hampered, honestly, by Costner’s lack of any humor whatsoever. The scenes prominently featuring the actor consequently grind to a halt. The rest of the film seems to know exactly what it is, while Costner carries on like he’s paying the film’s $175 million production bill. Infamously known for not using a British accent in he and director Reynolds’ prior adventure film for nine-year-old boys, ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES, Costner is a drag in WATERWORLD and proves that he’s best when portraying regular guys and baseball players.

Filming almost exclusively on water for the entire production is certainly not without intrinsic challenges. The enormous breadth of Mariner’s trimaran dictated the football field-size of the movie’s key atoll set and indebted Universal to pony up and extend Hawaii’s Kona Airport tarmac by a quarter mile to be able to accommodate the 747 tasked with delivering the titanic boat. The movie’s trimaran-sized costs along with tomes of bad and inaccurate press that included tales of people dying on set, ultimately affected the public perception of the film, suggesting that it was a problematic and troubled production. While rife with its share of challenges, troubles didn’t really occur until near the end of shooting when Reynolds dropped out of the picture due to creative differences with Costner, who took over as director and finished the film.

Arrow Video presents WATERWORLD on 4K Ultra High-Definition Blu-ray Disc. The three-disc boxed set is loaded with features that include three cuts of the film: theatrical, TV, and the extended “Ulysses” cut with shots and dialogue originally removed from the theatrical version. The set also includes the feature-length documentary “Maelstrom: The Odyssey of Waterworld,”—a terrific look at the making of the film by Ballyhoo Motion Pictures; the archival featurette “Dances With Waves;” and film critic Glenn Kenny’s exploration of the eco-apocalypse subgenre in the feature “Global Warnings.” This massive-sized limited release also includes a two-sided poster, collector postcards, and a 60 page booklet featuring writing on the movie by David J. Moore and Daniel Griffith.

Where MAD MAX was a story of survival in a post-apocalyptic world brought on by oil shortage, the undercurrent of WATERWORLD and its characters’ odyssey for dry land attempts to serve as a warning regarding mankind’s destructive ways, but any sincerity for the film’s greater eco message is drowned out by its adventurous nature and self-awareness. Even the infamous and contextually relevant oil tanker Deacon and company inhabit seems pulled from a Mad magazine parody. Logic problems and Costner’s misguided intensity aside, the juggernaut that is WATERWORLD sets a course directly into our nine-year-old hearts.

Fathoms of fun that’s only inches deep. Recommended.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of his content, be sure to check out his Linktree.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

by Anthony Taylor
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

THE GIRL ON A MOTORCYCLE – 1968
2.5 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Alain Delon , Marianne Faithfull , Roger Mutton , Marius Goring
Director: Jack Cardiff
Rated: Not Rated
Studio: Kino Lorber
Region: A
BRD Release Date: 12/13/2022
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 1595 kbps 2.0 / 48 kHz /16-bit
Video Codec: MPEG-4 AVC
Resolution: 1080p HD from new 4K Master
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1
Run Time: 91 minutes
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Stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place – i.e., after the French cinema verité/new wave filmmaking swept cinema and before the auteur revolution became popularized by the success of EASY RIDER (1969), Jack Cardiff’s THE GIRL ON A MOTORCYCLE seems a wan, “also ran” exercise in youth-oriented filmmaking from someone who had little understanding of the culture he was attempting to portray. Cardiff began his career in the camera department and became a top level cinematographer with films like THE RED SHOES, THE BRAVE ONE, and DEATH ON THE NILE. His transition to directing yielded several gems like SONS AND LOVERS and DARK OF THE SUN. This film was (by Cardiff’s own admission) hatchet-ed by the American censors, but that doesn’t seem to be the whole story, as the 54-year-old-at-the-time director clearly made some bad decisions himself in shooting it.

Rebecca (Faithfull) is a young, petulant newlywed who simply cannot stand the passiveness of her husband Raymond (Mutton) for a moment longer and decides to leave him for her older lover Daniel (Delon), a rogue of a literary professor with whom she’s been having a torrid affair since before her marriage. Daniel is a man damaged by a past relationship who acts out his anger with Rebecca, and cares not a whit for her otherwise. Traveling between her home in Orleans and Daniel’s in Heidelberg on the powerful motorcycle that Daniel gave her as a wedding present, Rebecca reflects on the journey that brought her to leave Raymond and forsake her life of reasonable comfort for what she knows will be an ecstasy of pain with Daniel.

My problems with the film are myriad; there’s no protagonist. It’s really hard to care about a character who is a self-described “silly bitch,” and revels in rubbing her husband’s face in her affair with another man who loathes her. Raymond is a cuckold, Daniel a narcissist. With whom should the viewers identify? Someone should have told Cardiff that there’s no such thing as adorable nihilism. Throughout the film, Rebecca engages in fantasies, flashbacks, and dreams which include circus horse acrobatics, strenuous snow skiing, and motorcycle riding – all potentially dangerous but thrilling pursuits – yet we only ever see Faithfull in a small handful of shots actually doing any of this herself. She’s either being photographed on a camera tow car, in process shots, rear projection, or a stunt double is used. This is an analog for Rebecca; she wants an exciting, danger-filled life but is too much of a coward to actually commit to the experiences. She internalizes all of her loathing and desire throughout the film, shared with the viewer via voiceovers. Another gripe: the sex (and some dream sequence) scenes shift into low resolution solarized posterization visual effects, doubtless in order to hide the more explicit nature of the shots. This effect was contextually current for the time, but became a cliché almost immediately and now just seems quaint.

Kino Lorber’s Blu-ray presentation of THE GIRL ON A MOTORCYCLE is sourced from a brand new 4K scan, and looks very good for the most part. There are some issues with the solarized effects as stated – they seem lower resolution and have more artifacts than the rest of the picture. Some detail is soft in scenes, but this may be the intent of the cinematographer. Audio is reasonable, well mixed, and robust for the musical score if not the whole film. Dialog was certainly dubbed in post-production, and a bit distracting occasionally. Extras on the disc include a legacy commentary from director Cardiff with a lot of very interesting reminiscences of making the film and the challenges he faced in conveying Rebecca’s stream of consciousness. A new commentary from author and film historian Alexandra Heller-Nicholas delves more into the nuances of feminism and the biker film genre. Both are worth a listen. Also included is the theatrical trailer and several others.

Is THE GIRL ON A MOTORCYCLE a classic or a misstep? It’s lovely to look at, as is its star, Marianne Faithfull. I can say that it’s certainly provocative, and a film that any viewer will hold a strong opinion about. Whether that opinion is positive or negative is subjective, of course.

Anthony Taylor is not only the Minister of Science, but also Defender of the Faith. His reviews and articles have appeared in magazines such as Screem, Fangoria, Retro Fan, Famous Monsters of Filmland, SFX, Video WatcH*Dog, and many more.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

By Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE– 1974
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw, Martin Balsam, Hector Elizondo, Earl Hindman
Director: Joseph Sargent
Rated: R
Distributor: Kino Lorber
Region: Region Free 4K Ultra HD disc, Region A Blu-ray Disc
Release Date: December 20, 2022
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 Mono (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Run Time: 104 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

There’s a remarkable efficiency to the traditional hijack film; everyday people going about their everyday business, suddenly find themselves at the mercy of a few greedy, entitled, weaponized maniacs. This scenario presents a most basic and human conflict that requires little backstory or explanation of motives. It’s a thrill of disruption we can all relate to and hopefully only ever view from a vicarious stance. Joseph Sargent’s 1974 feature THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE is textbook hijacking that tasks one of the world’s largest transportation authorities with the simple job of coughing up a million bucks for eighteen lives.

Based on the novel by John Godey (aka Morton Freedgood), the plot is as basic as a hijacking plot needs to be: Robert Shaw’s Mr. Blue and his three blandly color-coded partners descend upon a New York City subway train, dressed alike and armed with machine guns, ready to bill the City a million in cash for an hour of their time at the cost of a handful of voters lest the money be delivered one minute past the time allotted; then it’s one body per minute until the bounty arrives. The MTA savvy Mr. Green (Balsam) is essential in helping facilitate communications and mechanics while hot-headed Mr. Gray (Elizondo) and quiet Mr. Brown (Hindman) run crowd control on the single car of eighteen people the men have separated from the rest of the train. Between telling people to “shyaaad-up” back at NYC Transit Police Headquarters, Lieutenant Zachary Garber (Matthau) does his damnedest to negotiate with the inflexible Mr. Blue and his very specific demands.

What plays out is not only the rescue of eighteen innocent people but evidence of the power a handful of thugs can have over one of the biggest cities in the world. The math doesn’t add up. The problem isn’t gun-toting ruffians with dollar signs in their eyes (those types are forever ubiquitous); the problem is a city on the brink with major money troubles and a crumbling infrastructure. All it takes is four armed men to bring the entire town to its knees.

New York City is its own worst enemy in this film. City authorities are complacent, lazy, and in the case of the mayor (Lee Wallace) who is sick in bed, downright fearful. Mr. Blue and Mr. Green are pulling the city’s strings, while Mayor “Mr. Yellow”—wrapped in yellow blankets and pajamas—frets over a paltry million dollars (a little over six million in 2023 dollars) as he watches game shows from his bedroom in Gracie Mansion. Meanwhile the Transit Police remain nonplussed by the subterranean standoff, and lest we forget the undercover officer on the train who only reveals himself at the last minute, even then of little help. It’s the bureaucratic stranglehold of civic duty that results in the singular heroic act of the film from motorman Caz Dolowicz (Tom Pedi) who charges headlong into the fray, and pays the ultimate price for a city who can’t get its act together. Its gross mismanagement demands a different set of priorities from its servants making Dolowicz indifferent to the hijacking. “I’m warnin’ you, mister, that’s city property you’re fooling around with!” Dolowicz shouts to Mr. Gray. “Why didn’t you go grab a goddamn airplane like everybody else?”

Heroics aside, it’s the fear of a teeming, displeased public at large that scares the mayor into finally handing over the ransom money. Desperate more for acceptance than a solution, the mayor’s wife eloquently puts things in perspective for him by noting that paying the ransom ultimately means “18 sure votes.” And as the mayor agonizes over marginal votes and petty cash, Police are gathered at subway entrances to not only aid in apprehending the hijackers, but to control the angry crowds for when the mayor finally arrives on scene.

Cooler heads prevail… sort of. While Misters Blue, Green, Grey, and Brown cripple the entire city, Lieutenant Garber is literally all colors as indicated by his multicolored plaid shirt. And while also a byproduct of poor city management—note the obnoxious yellow tie around his neck—he eventually casts his bureaucratic nature asunder and realizes a few simple lies to the hijackers will buy everyone a little more time.

New York City administration fumbles its way through the entire movie. Even as the cash is being delivered, police are subject to the city’s natural disorder and must contend with traffic issues and car accidents. They get no dispensation for being the authority. The police are as much at the mercy of the city as the city is at the mercy of Mr. Blue and his cohorts.

You won’t find a cast of such grizzled performers anywhere else so perfect for 1970s New York. Shaw, Matthau and company have been through the wars and are the brutal sages from the days when old men still ran barber shops. They don’t make ‘em like those guys anymore.

And how can we forget that pounding, iconic David Shire score that is New York itself transformed into sound. Shire evokes structure amongst chaos with a jazzy funk that echoes the turbulent city we see on film. The singular riff that bangs out the credits almost sings to us, “ONE, TWO, THREE.”

Kino Lorber presents THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE on 4K UHD disc. The 4K features a brand new commentary from film historians Steve Mitchell and Nathaniel Thompson. This single new supplement is also included on the Blu-ray Disc in the set which contains the original bonus features from Kino’s 2016 home video release.

The film bets big on the entertainment value of regular people in trouble who are counting on an unreliable system to bail them out. It’s a visceral conceit that transcends crazy people, loaded weapons, and irresponsible civics, and appeals to the simple desire of going about our business and the power that authorities have to ensure that freedom. An amazing film, a great presentation. Recommended!

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

By Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI – 1920
5 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Werner Krauss, Conrad Veidt, Friedrich Feher, Lil Dagover
Director: Robert Wiene
Rated: Not rated
Studio: Eureka Entertainment
Region: Region Free
BRD Release Date: December 5, 2022
Audio Formats: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1, LPCM 2.0
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
Run Time: 78 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

In the last decade, it seems like anything in film that’s a little weird or unsettling gets slapped with the label of being “Lynchian,” as in David Lynch–ian. But if you do your homework, you’ll find out that what those people really mean to say is “expressionistic,” which not only sounds less like someone trying to be the coolest person in the room, but is also closer to the actual truth.

While German Expressionism only has a short tenure in the timeline of art history (lasting from around 1910 until the mid-1920s), filmmakers continue to refer to it today, constantly finding new and exciting ways to disturb us. The reality is that anything in film that’s given us the wim-wams in the past century or so most likely has the psychological frustration of a socio-economically battered war-torn country to thank. And those films that so adequately evoke troubling nightmarish moods are particularly indebted to Robert Wiene’s 1920 expressionist masterpiece, named by Roger Ebert as the first horror film, DAS CABINET DES DR. CALIGARI (THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI).

What Caligari (Werner Krauss) is a doctor of, we don’t really know at first. His title suggests a level of expertise beyond the common man that permits him to do things like set up at the local fair with his somnambulist sideshow partner Cesare (Conrad Veidt) and solicit people to ask the sleepwalker spooky questions like “How long will I live?” only to receive frightening answers like, “Till the break of dawn.” According to Caligari, Cesare is twenty-three years old and has been asleep for his entire life, awakened only in short spells to exhibit his clairvoyant proclivities to the morbidly curious masses. Oddly enough, Caligari and Cesare’s arrival in the German town of Holstenwall, where our story takes place, conveniently coincides with a string of mysterious murders that include one victim who had been particularly inquisitive about his own fate.

The story unravels in a bit of a cat-and-mouse fashion that culminates in the lead character Franzis (Friedrich Feher) following Caligari to an insane asylum where it is revealed that the doctor is a madman executing a grand experiment in murder. Or is he? The narrative is made all the more refreshingly grim by the framing story that sets up Franzis as the narrator, subsequently suggesting that the account of Dr. Caligari is Franzis’ own mad ravings. This insinuation is fortified by the wild, dreamlike sets and makeup that form the world Franzis speaks of, tying the film up with a big expressionistic bow.

Franzis may be the one telling the story, but it’s Caligari who is in charge of what happens. Whether Caligari is the maniacal mad scientist experimenting with the extremely pliable will of a somnambulist, or the seemingly benevolent asylum director, the film’s conclusion belongs to the doctor either way. And whatever audiences choose to believe about the movie’s final seconds, the doctor — and in this case, the authority — is never held accountable for the actions of which he is accused. Although film scholars throughout history theorize that THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI is a reflection and a comment on the authoritarianism that ran rampant in Germany through World War I, screenwriters Carl Mayer and Hans Janowitz claimed no conscious parallel was made to the context of the sociopolitical state of Germany at that time.

Whatever the contextual case may be, a kind of statement on the abuse of authority is apparent, imparting upon audiences the dire consequences inflicted upon those in its wake — in this case, a state of unbalance and disorder as reflected in the movie’s expressionistic style. The people are at the mercy of their leadership, and some are “Cesares” that are manipulated into enacting the questionable will of those in charge, and some are “Alans” and “Franzises” who wind up dead or insane as a result of unhinged corruption and desire for control.

When Franzis is first seen telling his account of Dr. Caligari, his audience is an elderly man who appears half awake as his eyelids droop and his eyes roll back in his head. A case can be made that the story we see unfold in the expressionistic realm isn’t from inside Franzis’ head but rather the dreams of the man to which he’s telling the story. The thematic implications are the same, but the idea that the story seen could be from either man’s mind provides the audience with a maddened experience shared with the characters in the film. We are as baffled by how the story is told as by the story itself. The entire narrative becomes fluid by the end of the movie, as multiple resolutions from multiple perspectives become possible. It is pure subjectivity, and the experience is as unsettling as the imagery of the film itself. And of all art movements, expressionism arguably relies the most on the subjectivity of its participants.

The film’s striking imagery and unnerving narrative combine in a moment of ghastly perfection when Cesare eerily creeps into the home of Jane Olsen (Lil Dagover) — Franzis’ love interest — as she sleeps. Cesare, in a strange bit of action with his gaunt, ghostlike performance, removes part of Jane’s windowpane and stalks through her bedroom with a knife in his hand, intent on murdering her as she sleeps. The sequence plays out at an ominous and lengthy pace, and is the most haunting and immediately threatening moment in the film. The scene is a sublime instance of the beauty and beast dynamic that will drive the motivations of monsters for decades to come.

Eureka Entertainment’s Masters of Cinema imprint presents THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI on 4K UHD. This presentation is the same as the Blu-ray release from 2014, with a few notable new features. Eureka’s limited-edition set includes a 100-page booklet, exclusive box art, a new commentary by film historians Jonathan Rigby and Kevin Lyons, and a new score by composer Uwe Dierksen and Hermann Kretzschmar. And for anyone needing a crash course in Weimar Era art history, look no further than the 52-minute documentary “Caligari: The Birth of Horror in the First World War” included in this set. Other features include a video essay by film critic David Cairns and an interview with film critic and author Kim Newman.

THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI is so influential, and continues to be, that to see it for the first time now presents nothing “new.” It’s tropes and imagery have been referenced for over a century in films. And whether filmmakers realize they’re cribbing this movie or borrowing from some other influence, the truth is that all roads lead to CALIGARI. Expressionism, Impressionism, post punk, goth, Lynchian, whatever you want to call it, this film is more than the result of an art movement, it is a movement in and of itself inspiring multiple genres across generations. It is ground zero for filmmakers like Christopher Nolan and David Lynch, and punk rock would be remiss to not acknowledge appropriating elements of its disjointed, gloomy aesthetic.

CALIGARI’s timeless effect is the result of our response to it. It burrows into our brains and knows right where to hit us. It knows how to trick us in the ways we want to be tricked without ever cannibalizing its narrative. CALIGARI, rather grows its narrative with the questions it conjures within us. It knows unanimously what gives us the willies, suggesting its moral superiority, and alleging our own proclivities for depravity. It never tells us what to think, but rather infers what we might. Through its audience, the film perpetuates its own existence, and over a hundred years later, we remain astounded by its purity and perplexed by its moral accuracy.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly.

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by Anthony Taylor
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

INVADERS FROM MARS – 1953
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Helena Carter , Arthur Franz , Jimmy Hunt , Leif Erickson , Morris Ankrum
Director: William Cameron Menzies
Rated: Unrated
Studio: Ignite Films
Region: A
BRD Release Date: December 16, 2022 – Also available on 4K UHD
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 Mono (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: MPEG-4 AVC
Resolution: 1080p HD
Aspect Ratio: 1.37:1
Run Time: 78 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

In 1953, the “Red Scare” was in full swing and Hollywood got busy processing the zeitgeist through filters of monster attacks, giant bug infestations, and alien invasions on film. Anti-communist sentiment was seeping into every aspect of life, and the cold war mentality became de rigeur for Americans of all ages. One thing we could all depend on was that the government, police, military, and especially our parents had our best interests in mind and stood ready to protect us from all comers, right? Right?

Not in INVADERS FROM MARS. Director William Cameron Menzies’ take on mid-century anti-commie allegory scared the bejesus out of every kid that sat through a film house matinee on a Saturday, saw it on television years later, and even – I have to admit – watched a high definition restored Blu-ray of it as an adult.

Little David (Jimmy Hunt) MacLean wakes up during a storm at night to see an eerie green flying saucer land behind a hill in a field beyond his backyard. Father Leif Erickson goes to investigate and disappears. When he returns, it’s clear he has been… turned. He swats David for back-talking, stares sternly into the middle distance just beyond the camera, and can hardly wait to take his wife out to the field so that she can be turned as well. As David tries to warn his neighbors, the buried saucer, and its alien crew, suck more and more of them under the sand, including the Chief of Police and other authority figures.

Menzie’s dreamy production design (which the film comes by honestly) is a wonder unto itself. Supersaturated colors cast the impressionist sets into a chiaroscuro landscape right out of a Gustave Doré etching. Infinity ceilings and impossibly long hallways accentuate the clutching panic that grows for David as everyone he turns to for help has already become “the enemy.” Eventually, he is believed by social worker Carter and astronomer Franz who rally the troops to assault the alien invaders.

It’s not hard to see the kind of impact this film had on young viewers, many of whom grew into young adults in the mid-1960s and changed the world by questioning authority and speaking truth to power here in America. It may as well have been the seed planted for many members of the counterculture, and if so, Menzies’ powers of suggestion were greater than he ever knew. An illustrator and designer who worked on many classic films with his name above the credits, INVADERS FROM MARS is his master work as a director.

Ignite Films pulled out all the stops for their presentation of the film on Blu-ray (and 4K UHD), starting with a truly impressive restoration from the surviving original film elements and even a few scenes from dupe prints for a new 4K scan. The picture has never looked so good, with saturation and film grain balanced well, and black levels well stabilized. The Master Audio mono sound mix is robust and translates both music, dialog, and sound effects nicely. Supplemental materials are abundant with featurettes on the restoration, interviews with Hunt and others, a round table style discussion with film directors John Landis, Joe Dante, editor Mark Goldblatt , special visual effects artist and two time Oscar Winner Robert Skotak (foremost expert on the film), and enthusiast and film preservationist Scott MacQueen, and much more including a twenty page booklet written by MacQueen. My copy even came with a pin-back button of the head (literally) Martian!

This package elevates Ignite Films to a new level in the pantheon of media distributors. Here’s hoping its success spurs them on to other such projects. INVADERS FROM MARS is my choice for restoration of the year for 2022.

Anthony Taylor is not only the Minister of Science, but also Defender of the Faith. His reviews and articles have appeared in magazines such as Screem, Fangoria, Famous Monsters of Filmland, SFX, Video WatcH*Dog, and many more.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

By Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

DRESSED TO KILL – 1980
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson, Nancy Allen, and Keith Gordon
Director: Brian De Palma
Rated: Unrated
Studio: Kino Lorber
Region: 4K UHD Blu-Ray and 2K Blu-ray, Region Free
BRD Release Date: October 25, 2022
Audio Formats: English DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 Mono and 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265 (70.00 Mbps)
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Run Time: 104 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

The lament of the sexually frustrated housewife gets everyone rooting for adultery. It’s never not a shame to see a beautiful woman carnally neglected or subject to something as mundane as “married sex,” or in the case of Angie Dickinson’s Kate Miller, obligatory sex. But where there’s smoke there’s fire and where there’s a sexually frustrated housewife, there’s a split diopter and a cross-dressing maniac with a straight razor, eventually making us all complicit to murder. Brian De Palma spells out the consequences of this particular instance of infidelity in his 1980 thriller DRESSED TO KILL.

Kate Miller has needs just like everyone else, the extent of which is luridly expressed in the film’s opening scene as her fantasy of being violently ravaged in the shower unfolds before revealing a two-pump chump reality. Kate is not a satisfied woman. That’s not to say her husband isn’t a good-looking man. He’s quite handsome, but he’s not a guy who’s really into “needs.”

It’s no surprise that Kate 1) sees a therapist who very openly, yet somehow very professionally, confesses that he’d like to sleep with her, and 2) that she’s willing to side-step a few Commandments when Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome takes a seat next to her at the art museum.

In what amounts to a horny game of cat-and-mouse, Kate and her handsome stranger pursue each other through the labyrinthine museum, culminating in a sultry cab ride that puts Kate in Mr. Handsome’s bed without her panties. Mr. Handsome’s name is Warren Lockman (Ken Baker), and at least part of Kate’s apprehensions are realized when she discovers Mr. Lockman has a venereal disease after pilfering the man’s desk drawer while he sleeps. This is only the beginning of a fatal exacting of Murphy’s Law for poor Kate.

Her walk of shame is interrupted when she goes back to retrieve her wedding ring from Lockman’s apartment. At this point Kate is feeling pretty low; she’s going to be late getting home, she’s cheated on her husband, and she may have a gnarly venereal disease pulsing through her veins. Things couldn’t get much worse—that is until she winds up on the business end of a straight razor at the hands of a strange blonde woman in sunglasses in a near verbatim remake of the famous shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s PSYCHO.

Witness to Kate’s murder is hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Liz Blake (Nancy Allen). Liz is mid-escort when the murder occurs, which sends her client running. During the fracas, Liz catches a glimpse of the killer, immediately conscripting herself into the role amateur detective and dramatically changing the film’s tone from sordid romance on the down-low to a bona fide murder mystery of the giallo variety. From this point forward it’s Liz’s movie as she teams up with Kate’s nerdy teenage son Peter (Keith Gordon) to track down the mysterious blond-haired butcher, and tries not to get herself killed or arrested in the process.

The problem with the traditional murder mystery is there’s only so many people who can be the killer. Anyone with half a brain and an astute sense of empathy and narrative can pin down whodunit with relatively little difficulty. This is one instance where the saying “Italians do it better” rings true. The typical Italian giallo film will have audiences guessing to the very end with any number of red herrings at varying degrees of coherency along the way. And usually, it’s not the person you least expect, rather, it’s the person you least, least expect, like the paraplegic who’s been laid up in a bed the entire movie.

Once it’s revealed that Kate is in danger as she leaves the museum, De Palma mostly ditches the Hitchcock vibe he was working with and leans more into the giallo aesthetic. All the right pieces are there: a black-gloved hand, a weird cutting tool, a pretty blonde, and a bad disguise. Narratively, however, the director plays it safe and sticks to a pretty standard murder thriller.

This movie in any other director’s hands would be dangerously close to coming across like a made-for-TV film (not that there’s anything wrong with that). DRESSED TO KILL isn’t really about being a murder mystery, though; it’s about the thrill of a murder mystery, the shock of revelation, and the vicarious event of watching other people endure terror. It is an experience, and conclusively, it’s an opportunity for De Palma to play around in that old Hitchcock sandbox and lay down some of the distinct visual style for which he’s known.

De Palma’s critics corner him as misogynistic for his treatment of women in his films. DRESSED TO KILL, in particular, is an example of implicating a woman in a dangerous situation where arguably her own decisions lead to her death. What’s really happening in this film is more along the lines of satire. At face value, sure, Kate Miller does bad things, and as a result, bad things happen to her; but what about the bad things Kate’s husband is guilty of? If only he were more attentive in the way Kate needed him to be, she wouldn’t be compelled to do the bad things that get her killed. The lack of attention from Kate’s husband empowers her to go find what she feels she deserves.

Furthermore, if there were any doubt about De Palma’s intentions, one needs to look no further than the occupation of Liz Blake, who could have been a schoolteacher or a bank teller, but in a story where a woman searching for sex is murdered, what better hero than a sex worker? How appropriate that Kate’s husband is exactly the type of man with which Liz so often works. And while Kate’s husband isn’t interested in the needs of his sexual partner, Liz reciprocates this particular theme as someone who is only interested in the needs of her sexual partners. Liz, the expert on the needs of others, becomes empowered to find Kate’s killer. Liz, the sex worker — not the schoolteacher or the bank teller — is a hero. Liz’s role is emphasized in the final moments of the film that finds her waking in terror in the very bed in which Kate was having all that unsatisfying sex. Kate’s marital bed — curiously missing Kate’s husband, but involving Peter as a comfort to Liz—represents the thematic stakes of the movie. The prostitute is the sacrificial lamb of chilly sex, making Liz not only the hero of the film, but the Patron Saint of passion.

The killer’s confused sexual identity certainly adds to the film’s sexually charged dynamic, but seems to be employed mostly as a red herring device. Kate’s murderer is driven by the male side of jealously, but acts as a female. It seems that a true case of sexual identity crisis would work better if the killer were a woman killing as a man. In the case of what occurs, the psychological implications lean more into a dual identity disorder. The killer’s motivation and identity crisis are particularly interesting because the script for this film was originally written for CRUISING (1980) until that project went to William Friedkin. De Palma repurposed the script into DRESSED TO KILL.

DRESSED TO KILL is presented in Ultra High Definition on 4K UHD disc by Kino Lorber. New and legacy supplementary features, including multiple interviews and documentaries, are featured on a bonus Blu-ray disc. The UHD disc also contains a new commentary by film critic and author Maitland McDonagh.

Brian De Palma is eager to let audiences know what a Hitchcock fan he is, almost to the point of overdoing it. DRESSED TO KILL is textbook De Palma and holds up as one of the director’s best films. Here, De Palma isn’t interested in satisfying anyone’s need to solve a murder so much as he’s looking to thrill with good old-fashioned sex and violence with a troubling twist that’ll have you hankerin’ for a stick of Doublemint gum.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly.

 Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

by Anthony Taylor
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

If you have a retro cinema and television buff in your life, consider yourself lucky! Finding gifts for them just got a whole lot easier thanks to our handy Gift Giving Guide. Below are our deep dive (and shallow end) choices for the greatest gifts released in 2022 for lovers of physical media. All titles are in Blu-Ray or 4K format unless otherwise noted.

Get the popcorn ready and Happy Holidays!

MULTI-DISC/TITLE SETS

Dr. Phibes Double Feature [THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES/DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN] – Kino Lorber: It’s impossible not to love the kitschy fun of director Robert Fuest’s Phibes movies. Vincent Price chews scenery like bubble gum, and the Art Deco styling is gorgeous. It’s hard to hate a film whose tagline was “Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Ugly.” Both films come on a single disc, so it’s not stuffed with extra features, but definitely bargain-priced.

The Incredibly Strange Films Of Ray Dennis Steckler Collector’s Set – Severin: Twenty – COUNT ‘EM! – Twenty films by the master of cheap ass, WTF? cinema, Ray Dennis Steckler! Most well-known for THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES!!?, Steckler’s films were always startlingly tapped into the contextual zeitgeist of the times. Absurd, yes – consequential, no doubt; he created some of the best cinema to make out to at drive-in screenings. Severin’s box set is fantastically featured, with new HD scans of the films, hours of bonus features and a book about the filmmaker. Get it!

Night Gallery (Season 3) – Kino Lorber: Return to the landscape of darkness with Rod Serling! Kino’s Season 3 Blu-ray set is filled to the top with classic episodes like “The Girl With The Hungry Eyes,” “Fright Night,” and “Something In The Woodwork,” as well as those amazing commentaries by the team that did the first two season sets and other supplements. Go all-in with this final offering of the early 1970’s television terror!

The Six Million Dollar Man: The Complete Series – Amazon Exclusive Collector’s Edition – Shout! Factory: They rebuilt him… in BLU-RAY! Thirty-three (that’s NOT a typo!) discs of all the bionic goodness you remember form the classic 1970’s television series! All the episodes plus the three TV movies that launched the series and the reunion movies, The Bionic Woman crossover episodes, as well as hours of bonus content and behind the scenes featurettes. A full ninety-two hours of Steve Austin and friends! It’s honestly a mind-blowing package of amazing high-definition entertainment, and I can’t believe there’s anyone on the planet over the age of 35 that wouldn’t be thrilled to get this in their stocking!

SINGLE TITLE/DISC GIFTS

 ARMY OF DARKNESS [Limited Edition Steelbook] – Shout! Factory: “This is my BOOMSTICK!” Another fun title that should be in every media Library. Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell can do no wrong in this third installment of the EVIL DEAD franchise, and arguably the funniest. This four-disc set has every cut of the film imaginable (including a brand new 4K scan of the theatrical cut) as well as a full slate of supplementary features, all wrapped up in an attractive steelbook case. Just accept that if your special film fan doesn’t have this package, they need it.

THE GREAT ESCAPE 4K UHD – Kino Lorber: The classic. Director John Sturges’ WWII P.O.W. odyssey features possibly the greatest cast in the history of war movies (THE LONGEST DAY excepted) and just about every line of dialog is quotable. Steve McQueen is the coolest as the Cooler King, and performs the most memorable motorcycle jump in cinema history. This 2-disc set includes the film on 4K, a well as a bonus Blu-ray disc of extras and featurettes. Essential.

STAR TREK I: The Motion Picture 4K UHD – The Director’s Edition Complete Adventure – Paramount: Excuse me while I hyperventilate a bit… WOW! What a set for the all-too-often- maligned first Star Trek film! The director’s cut, the theatrical cut, a bonus disc jam packed with new and legacy special features, poster, photos, stickers, booklet, and more. It’s enough to make one gambol about like a Muppet. STAR TREK: TMP is a better film than most remember, and totally worth all the hoopla associated with the brand new remaster in this package. Boldly go get it now!

HIGHLANDER (Collector’s Edition) – Studio Canal: There can be ONLY ONE! The 80’s classic fantasy to end all fantasies, director Russell Mulcahy and writer Gregory Widen created an entirely new immortal breed to populate a franchise that included multiple films and television series, and an upcoming remake starring Henry Cavill, so yeah… maybe more than one. Studio Canal’s set includes a poster, a comic book, buttons, photos, and two discs full of immortals dueling with swords to the amazing music of Queen. How can you go wrong?

I could go on for pages and pages. We’re living in a jet stream of great releases and film fans should be very happy about that. Check out our previous and future columns for more recommendations and HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM APE CITY!

Anthony Taylor is not only the Minister of Science, but also Defender of the Faith. His reviews and articles have appeared in magazines such as Screem, Fangoria, Famous Monsters of Filmland, Retro Fan, SFX, Video WatcH*Dog, and many more.

 Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

by Anthony Taylor
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

If you have a retro cinema and television buff in your life, consider yourself lucky! Finding gifts for them just got a whole lot easier thanks to our handy gift giving guide. Below are our deep dive (and shallow end) choices for the greatest gifts released in 2021 for lovers of physical media. All titles are in Blu Ray or 4K format unless otherwise noted. Get the popcorn ready and Happy Holidays!

Apes on Film also appears on Nerd Alert News. Check them out HERE!

MULTI-DISC/TITLE SETS

KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER (THE COMPLETE SERIES) – Kino Lorber: Yep, the whole Kolchak television series shebang in one beautiful set. Jammed full of great commentaries and special features and sourced from new 2K masters, this premium presentation is on the level of Kino’s OUTER LIMITS sets from 2018, and it should be – it features many of the same commentators. With new cover art by Mark Maddox (check out his ATLRetro Kool Kat interview here), how can you go wrong? Poke around Kino’s website and you’ll also find the original two Kolchak television movies, THE NIGHT STALKER and THE NIGHT STRANGLER. Collect them all!

THE EUROCRYPT OF CHRISTOPHER LEE – Severin Films: Ever wonder what Christopher Lee Was up to between all those Dracula movies he made for Hammer Films? Wonder no longer! Thanks to Severin, this box set collects a smorgasbord of five of these Lee classics – the 1964 gothic shocker CRYPT OF THE VAMPIRE; the 1964 cult hit CASTLE OF THE LIVING DEAD co-starring an unknown Donald Sutherland; 1962’s celebrated SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE DEADLY NECKLACE; 1967’s lurid favorite THE TORTURE CHAMBER OF DR. SADISM and the rarely-seen 1963 oddity CHALLENGE THE DEVIL – with the 24 surviving episodes of the 1971 Film Polski anthology series THEATRE MACABRE hosted by Lee, all remastered from original negative materials with over 10 hours of trailers, rare promos, audio commentaries & vintage interviews, plus the CASTLE OF THE LIVING DEAD soundtrack and an all-new 88-page book by Lee biographer Jonathan Rigby.

SPACE: 1999 THE COMPLETE SERIES (ULTIMATE EDITION) – Imprint Television: Gerry and Sylvia Anderson’s (and Fred Frieberger’s) most popular television series in the United States by far, Space: 1999 is often a love it or hate it proposition for science fiction fans. I’ve always been enamored by its thoughtful, almost poetic ruminations on man’s place in the galaxy during Series 1, and the colorful, action oriented and more humorous pace of Series 2. There are a few clunkers throughout, but the Andersons and cast managed to create quite a few modern classics with this series, and the gorgeous photography and special effects throughout are a major draw. This set collects both series as well as nearly all of the special features from earlier releases, as well as the four completion films released to television in the 1980s! If you’re a fan of the show, this is a must-have set. Though this set is Australian, it is region-free and will play on US Blu-ray players. [Full disclosure: I wrote questions for the Barbara Bain and Nick Tate interviews included, and created commentaries for two episodes on this set.]

THE MONSTER COLLECTION – Doppelgänger Releasing: If your film lover has a curiosity about the making of his or her favorites, this set is a great addition to their menagerie. Featuring two documentaries by filmmakers Gilles Penso and Alexandre Poncet – CREATURE DESIGNERS: THE FRANKENSTEIN COMPLEX and PHIL TIPPETT: MAD DREAMS AND MONSTERS this set offers up secrets behind special effects make-up, stop-motion animation and a plethora of other cinematic techniques by masters such as Tippett, Rick Baker, Guillermo del Toro, Greg Nicotero, and many more. Seminal information presented in an entertaining package, and highly recommended.

GAMERA: THE HEISEI ERA – Arrow Video: Go ahead, make fun – but the Gamera movies released from 1995 to 2006 are great! This set collects GAMERA: GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE, GAMERA 2: ATTACK OF THE LEGION, GAMERA 3: REVENGE OF IRIS, and GAMERA THE BRAVE.  Directors Shûsuke Kaneko and Ryuta Tasaki, writer Kazunori Itô and SFX director Shinji Higuchi hit it out of the park with this quadrilogy! If your cinema buff enjoys kaiju from the Showa era, they’ll enjoy these films, guaranteed. Sourced from 4K restorations and featuring a whole slew of turtle-riffic extras, you’re guaranteed to get a smile and a BIG thank you when they open this.

SINGLE TITLE/DISC GIFTS

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY – Kino Lorber: Is this the greatest western ever made? If not, it’s sure up there. Find out for yourself with Kino’s 4KUHD/Blu-ray package, jam packed full of extras. “There are two kinds of people in this world; people with loaded guns, and people who buy this disc. You… buy this disc.”

THE STING – Universal Home Entertainment: Since we’re talking about greatest movies of their genre anyway, why not grab THE STING in 4K UHD and Blu-ray while you’re grabbing? Again, with the plethora of bonus features and even a download code. I think this is one of the best written, directed, and acted movies ever; you know I’m buying this.

BLOOD FOR DRACULA – Severin Films: Paul Morrissey’s take on the classic tale puts Udo Kier in the cape and sets him off to Italy in search of the blood of virgins. Over the top? Sure, but still worth watching in 4K or Blu-ray, one again easy to do since both are included here as well as a soundtrack CD and much, much more.

THE VAMPIRE LOVERS – Shout! Factory: And now on to vampires who couldn’t care less about your sexual history as long as you’re willing! Shout! Factory brings us a new Blu-ray package of Hammer Films’ sexy, fang- filled romps. Sourced from a new 4K scan, this disc is also bursting at the seams with extras. A classic of lesbian vampirism, and Ingrid Pitt is radiant.

Folks, I could go on for pages and pages. We’re living in a jet stream of great releases and film fans should be very happy about that. Check out my previous and future columns for more recommendations and HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM APE CITY!

Anthony Taylor is not only the Minister of Science, but also Defender of the Faith. His reviews and articles have appeared in magazines such as Screem, Fangoria, Famous Monsters of Filmland, SFX, Video*WatcHDog, and more.

*Art Credit: Anthony Taylor as Dr. Zaius caricature by Richard Smith