ATLRetro

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

WEIRD SCIENCE– 1985
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Paxton, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Rusler
Director: John Hughes
Rated: PG-13
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: 4K UHD Region Free
BRD Release Date: August 22, 2023
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 (48kHz, 24-bit), English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 97 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

The adolescent weekend sleepover is a realm of heightened possibility. Two like minds so alike they’ve agreed to spend the weekend together for the purpose of none other than to mine any variety of wall-to-wall amusement for a solid 48 hours. The usual parental mandates are loosened for these very special and often rare occasions, and in the best-case scenarios, parents are otherwise preoccupied or missing all together. These are the instances when the best laid plans between two inseparable cohorts come to bear. This reviewer’s most memorable sleepovers cultivated firing BB guns inside the house and peeping soft-core cable programming through heavy-lidded eyes. The adolescent sleepover is a dare to accomplish missions none would venture alone, and exists as a living laboratory of the pubescent mind.

In John Hughes’ WEIRD SCIENCE, high school dweebs Gary and Wyatt (Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own hormonally charged devices for a weekend in Wyatt’s sprawling, well-stocked palatial home. The boys ingest piles of snacks and classic Universal horror films while pouting about the unrequited attention of two girls from the cheerleading squad—Deb and Hilly (Suzanne Snyder and Judie Arnonson).

Watching James Whale’s 1931 feature FRANKENSTEIN, and sizing up Wyatt’s state-of-the-art computer rig, Gary concocts the idea that the boys create the perfect woman for themselves. Plotted as a simulation only, inexplicable “weird science” occurs and produces the real live woman of Gary and Wyatt’s dreams in the form of the very beautiful and very adult Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). Lisa is not only the boys’ perfect female companion, but she’s also supercharged with powers to provide sports cars and fake IDs out of thin air. It’s the time-honored tale of the search for personal identity through unlimited means told in the horror-adjacent tactic of playing god by building bodies for exacting impossible demands.

Most famous for manifesting classic teenybopper angst and humor in his films, grown-up teenager John Hughes executes the most primal version of his fascinations in WEIRD SCIENCE. Charged with sex and wit, the story is a raw look into the teenage male psyche obsessed with the arduous task of solving identity, female desires, and ultimately their alpha roles within society. It’s a film so puerile and reactive, dare I say it could hardly be made today.

With barely any plot to get in the way of the story, the film unfolds on in-the-moment impulses of two boys with the world conceivably at their disposal. The first thing the guys do with Lisa once she appears is what any teenage boy would do: watch her shower. Then it’s a night on the town culminating in a scene that will shock the youthful progressive minds of the present day as Gary not only drinks and smokes as an underage young adult, but talks in jive and refers to “big-titty eighth-grade bitches.” The scene’s inappropriate nature charges it with a new sense of humor for modern audiences. In 1985 it falls in line with the typical brand of silliness found in most 80s comedies, but in 2023 it’s hilarious because it’s shocking.

With Lisa at their side, Gary and Wyatt seem unstoppable, but Wyatt’s older brother Chet (Bill Paxton) – a living roadblock armed with extortion and blackmail tactics – isn’t afraid to wave a gun around. When Chet isn’t on screen bilking Wyatt for money and slinging inappropriate slurs, he exists in the background reminding everyone of a reality beyond the fantasy Gary and Wyatt have created for themselves, that when Mom and Dad get home, there’s gonna be some explaining to do.

Deb and Hilly’s current love interests also exist as reminders of Gary and Wyatt’s uncool place in teenage hierarchy. Ian and Max (Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Rusler) are the pants-shucking high school bullies the boys are forced to compete against for the fickle affections of the freshmen females. Gary and Wyatt’s requisite trip to the mall winds up drenched in cherry-flavored public humiliation that has Lisa coming to their rescue with a couple of sports cars and an all-inclusive invitation to a climactic party at Wyatt’s house where the limits of the weekend fantasy knows no bounds.

The mechanics of Gary and Wyatt’s reverie become less and less important as the film moves along. How and why Lisa is able to do the things she does ceases to be of any concern for the boys, the audience, and even director Hughes himself. The final act, culminating in the party of the century, is fantasy unhinged as grand pianos are sucked up chimneys, nuclear missiles are willed into existence, and a barbaric motorcycle gang crashes into the scene at last forcing Gary and Wyatt to grow beyond dweeby status and establish their own identities as iconic cool.

Arrow Video presents WEIRD SCIENCE on 4K Ultra-High-Definition Blu-Ray disc. This new release is loaded with interviews from casting director Jackie Burch, editor Chris Lebenzon, composer Ira Newborn, makeup artist Craig Reardon, and supporting actor John Kapelos. The disc also includes the extended and edited-for-TV versions of the film as well as the archival documentary IT’S ALIVE! RESURRECTING WEIRD SCIENCE. Other features are an illustrated booklet with writing on the film by authors Alexandra Heller-Nicholas and Amanda Reyes and a double-sided fold-out poster of original and newly commissioned artwork by Tracie Ching.

The magic of Gary and Wyatt’s fantasy weekend is never explained, and ultimately it’s not important as everything returns to normal seconds before Wyatt’s parents return home. The story is at best a heightened construct of the teenage mind, amplifying the trials of pimply-faced noggins and hormone-enraged hearts, reminding us of the politics and romance that rule the adolescent institution.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of Lucas’s content, be sure to check out his Linktree.

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

WATERWORLD – 1995
3 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino
Director: Kevin Reynolds
Rated: Not Rated
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: 4K UHD Region Free
BRD Release Date: June 27, 2023
Audio Formats: English: Dolby Atmos; English: Dolby TrueHD 7.1 (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 135 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

Children are the future, and what better way to impress upon them the horrors of the depleted ozone layer and melted ice caps in store for them than with a movie made exclusively for nine-year-old boys? Director Kevin Reynolds appeals to the swashbuckling MAD MAX-inspired tyke living inside all of us with his 1995 film WATERWORLD, placing the post-apocalypse on the high seas.

Kevin Costner stars as “the Mariner” in this briny adventure, who after being outed by the nearest junk atoll community as a “Muto” for his “ichthy” qualities, finds himself on the run with a salvage dealer named Helen (Tripplehorn) and the little girl she cares for, Enola (Majorino). The trio is pursued across the flooded globe by a gang known as the Smokers, led by charismatic baddie Deacon (Hopper) who wants Enola for the mysterious tattoo on her back that is rumored to be a map that leads to the only remaining dry land on the planet.

Costner’s Mariner isn’t just a reluctant hero and custodian of the two stowaways needing his gigantic trimaran boat to get around, he’s brooding, and contemplative, and… kind of an asshole. What Mel Gibson did for the post-apocalyptic moody disposition, Costner turns into smug and unlikable. Part of the problem is we’re not sure what he really wants; he’s got gills. He’s got webbed feet. He can get to the earth’s drowned cities and plunder Davy Jones’s locker like any pro fish-man could. Outside of fending off scurvy (and why hasn’t he evolved out of that problem?) Mariner, with his enormous seafaring rig and its 50-caliber machine gun, is pretty well set for whatever the high seas throws at him. The only thing we know he wants is these helpless women off his boat! It’s completely understandable that the film’s hero should have some advantages, but Mariner’s situation leaves him at the top of the food chain. Lack of incentive and Costner’s prickly, heavy-handed reluctance doesn’t do much to get us rooting for him.

Deacon and his gang of ruffians, while wildly more entertaining, also kind of have it made. They have jet skis; they have a cool hideout. They somehow have dry cigarettes and plenty of gasoline. And other than belittling his own people and making a few empty threats, Deacon doesn’t do anything inherently bad. He eventually gets around to kidnapping Enola, but he’s not even a creep about it. Dennis Hopper’s Deacon comes off more like a weird uncle who also just happens to be a high seas buccaneer. That’s not to say he’s not loads of fun to watch; Hopper (as is often the case in this film) delivers mundane lines like, “That’s why I love children: no guile,” with the relatable dryness of a man quietly frustrated after having just been insulted by a Smoker youth. Deacon wants to be the mustache twirling bad guy, but he’s ultimately just ineffective and comes off as downright lovable.

The narrative problems that plague WATERWORLD don’t prevent it from being the fun, daring adventure it wants to be. The overall swaggering tone of the film is often hampered, honestly, by Costner’s lack of any humor whatsoever. The scenes prominently featuring the actor consequently grind to a halt. The rest of the film seems to know exactly what it is, while Costner carries on like he’s paying the film’s $175 million production bill. Infamously known for not using a British accent in he and director Reynolds’ prior adventure film for nine-year-old boys, ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES, Costner is a drag in WATERWORLD and proves that he’s best when portraying regular guys and baseball players.

Filming almost exclusively on water for the entire production is certainly not without intrinsic challenges. The enormous breadth of Mariner’s trimaran dictated the football field-size of the movie’s key atoll set and indebted Universal to pony up and extend Hawaii’s Kona Airport tarmac by a quarter mile to be able to accommodate the 747 tasked with delivering the titanic boat. The movie’s trimaran-sized costs along with tomes of bad and inaccurate press that included tales of people dying on set, ultimately affected the public perception of the film, suggesting that it was a problematic and troubled production. While rife with its share of challenges, troubles didn’t really occur until near the end of shooting when Reynolds dropped out of the picture due to creative differences with Costner, who took over as director and finished the film.

Arrow Video presents WATERWORLD on 4K Ultra High-Definition Blu-ray Disc. The three-disc boxed set is loaded with features that include three cuts of the film: theatrical, TV, and the extended “Ulysses” cut with shots and dialogue originally removed from the theatrical version. The set also includes the feature-length documentary “Maelstrom: The Odyssey of Waterworld,”—a terrific look at the making of the film by Ballyhoo Motion Pictures; the archival featurette “Dances With Waves;” and film critic Glenn Kenny’s exploration of the eco-apocalypse subgenre in the feature “Global Warnings.” This massive-sized limited release also includes a two-sided poster, collector postcards, and a 60 page booklet featuring writing on the movie by David J. Moore and Daniel Griffith.

Where MAD MAX was a story of survival in a post-apocalyptic world brought on by oil shortage, the undercurrent of WATERWORLD and its characters’ odyssey for dry land attempts to serve as a warning regarding mankind’s destructive ways, but any sincerity for the film’s greater eco message is drowned out by its adventurous nature and self-awareness. Even the infamous and contextually relevant oil tanker Deacon and company inhabit seems pulled from a Mad magazine parody. Logic problems and Costner’s misguided intensity aside, the juggernaut that is WATERWORLD sets a course directly into our nine-year-old hearts.

Fathoms of fun that’s only inches deep. Recommended.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of his content, be sure to check out his Linktree.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

MALLRATS – 1995
3 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Jason Lee, Jeremy London, Shannon Doherty, Claire Forlani, Ben Affleck, Jason Mewes, Michael Rooker
Director: Kevin Smith
Rated: R
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: 4K UHD Region Free
BRD Release Date: June 27, 2023
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 94 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

Lucky for director Kevin Smith, a slew of big-name critics mined a wealth of cultural commentary and social subtext in his first film CLERKS. The critical success of the director’s first movie placed him in front of major studios looking to cash in on this new cultural firebrand. And while, yes, CLERKS does manage to muster some kind of then current subtext on commerce and the grind of the middle class, Smith has all but admitted that it wasn’t intentional. Inspired by Richard Linklater’s strangely paced film SLACKER, that follows one oddball conversation to the next and never returning to any kind of plot, Smith set out to basically borrow Linklater’s energy with CLERKS. For what it’s worth, a middle-class fanboy with a passion and a lot of free time, made out pretty damn good. CLERKS is indeed an entertaining and culturally relevant success that has aged relatively well in spite of its ramshackle style.

So, when the big studios came calling, Smith went with what he knew worked and essentially set about making the same movie that had earned him so much acclaim. Except this time, success was not in the cards. MALLRATS shapes up to be a mild revision of the characters in CLERKS, but set in the larger, more culturally pervasive environment of the American shopping mall. One could draw a parallel to George Romero’s zombie sequel with DAWN OF THE DEAD, stating that all roads lead to commerce, and what better spot to showcase such than the mall. At any rate, lightning did not strike twice for Kevin Smith; at least not at first.

Motormouth ersatz comic book scholar Brodie (Lee) and his pal T.S. Quint (London – a nod to Robert Shaw’s Quint from JAWS?), take their broken hearts to the mall to ease the forlorn burdens they’ve recently suffered and plot their way back into love with the women who’ve recently abandoned them. As the two mosey about the mall bumping into a cast of dynamic, hilarious characters they each have some narrative connection to, in the background is the impending taping of the cable access game show “Truth or Date” where T.S.’s now ex-girlfriend Brandi (Forlani) is the date-seeking contestant. It becomes the boys’ mission to infiltrate the show and win back lost loves in a grand show of affection and shocking revelation.

Financed by Universal Pictures’ new indie film division Gramercy, Smith had a new element breathing down his throat that he never had to contend with on CLERKS: major studio interference. While Universal/Gramercy prided itself on the conceit and the artistic notions of the independent filmmaker, it wanted to have its cake and eat it too, demanding Smith make compromises that likely affected the reception of the film. The most significant accommodation forced Smith to omit a fourteen-minute bit of exposition that laid down why the main character Quint is so loathed by his girlfriend’s father Mr. Svenning (Rooker). And while the studio sought the opportunity with Smith to make “a smart PORKY’S,” they also wanted to cut down on the foul language. Gramercy lobbied for big name stars and sought to recast Mewes’ iconic “Jay” character, the real heart of the film’s puerile comedy, with the likes of Seth Green. Though the studio was not successful, it’s clear that Smith and his bosses had different intentions. All this and a troubled marketing campaign arguably lead to a failed second feature for the director.

We’ve seen the plot of this film a million times, so the movie’s charm and reason to watch lies within its characters. Smith provides a range of smarmy youths with whipcrack language so sodden with post adolescent wit that it could only ever have the advantage of being written. While admittedly juvenile, Smith’s dialogue is at times hilarious and often helped by the actors’ performances, the strongest of which is Jason Lee who delivers most believably. The weakest of the gang is Jeremy London who rattles off Smith’s overwrought lines too fast and never more convincingly than a community theatre audition.

MALLRATS is more character study than anything, and remains as a glimpse into the youth of the 1990s. Time alone has built the success of the film more than any marketing campaign or opening weekend box office. And speaking as someone who came of age seeing this film within the decade it represents, subtext, context, and all that stuff you learn about in film class falls second to the lovable, relatable characters and the chemistry they concoct on screen.

Over the years, Smith’s energy and wit has been replicated to the point of exhaustion, saturating films up to and including the Marvel Universe with his brand of cross-reference and humor. In a career-defining meta move for Smith, Stan Lee who makes a notable cameo in MALLRATS can even be found in Disney/Marvel’s 1990s set CAPTAIN MARVEL rehearsing his lines for his appearance in this film – Marvel nerds can bounce around and hyperventilate about how MALLRATS is now technically canon within the MCU. In spite of the director’s bouts of mediocrity outside of his “Askewniverse” (named for his production company View Askew, that consistently features Jay (Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) amongst other recurring characters), Kevin Smith is less a filmmaking influence than he is an unstoppable cultural bellwether.

Arrow Video presents MALLRATS on 4K UHD Blu-ray disc with loads of special features including a wordy introduction from Smith; Theatrical and Extended cuts of the film; a commentary with Smith, his producer and stars; a number of interviews; deleted scenes; archival materials; and Erection of an Epic: The making of Mallrats documentary. Arrow’s release also features an illustrated booklet with writing by film writer Philip Kemp and a fold out poster of replica blueprints for “Operation Drive-by” and “Operation Dark Knight” plotted by Jay and Silent Bob in the film. The disc comes packaged in a reversible sleeve of original and newly commissioned artwork by Robert Sammelin.

MALLRATS’ success in 1995 is irrelevant. While it was a critical and financial failure, it remains a cult hit that lives on to be quoted and referenced to this day. A time capsule of a dying brick and mortar institution of commerce, MALLRATS remains steadfast as an exemplar of the tyranny of nostalgia as a personal museum exhibit for a specific group of people from a specific time within their generation. Recommended.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of Lucas’s content, be sure to check out his Linktree.

by Anthony Taylor
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

HUGO – (2011) Limited Edition 4K Ultra HD Three Disc Set
5 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Asa Butterfield, Chloë Grace Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen
Director: Martin Scorsese
Rated: PG
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: Free
BRD Release Date: 07/18/2023
Audio Formats: DTS-HD MA 7.1 and LPCM 2.0 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: 4K Ultra HD (2160p) presentation of the 2D version of the film in Dolby Vision (HDR10 compatible), (1080p) Blu-ray presentation of the film in 2D and 3D
Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1, Original Aspect Ratio 1.85:1
Discs: 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray 3D, Blu-ray Disc, Three-disc set (1 BD-100, 2 BD-50)
Run Time: 126 minutes
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HUGO is Martin Scorsese’s love letter to cinema. I’m going to assume that regular readers of this column have almost all seen the movie since its release in 2011, either in the theater in glorious 3D or at home via the device of your choosing. Based on the profusely illustrated book, THE INVENTION OF HUGO CABRET, by Brian Selznick, the movie is as much an ode to films and those who make them as the book was to… well, books and those who write and illustrate them. Director Scorsese took the literary centric tropes of Selznick’s work and applied the cinematically equivalent ones to suit his own medium to great effect. In doing so, he makes a gentle but substantial case for film preservation, including much needed information to modern audiences of what is lost forever and what may yet be saved for posterity and why it’s important to preserve them.

The visuals, performances, music, directing, and other technical aspects of the film have been examined minutely by critics, but one of the attractions on the Arrow Special Edition release of HUGO that’s worth emphasizing is supplemental features, including producer Heather Buckley’s extended interview with author Selznick as he discusses the genesis of the book, his intentions and aspirations in creating it, and finally examining the theme of the story. He remarks that the theme was brought up with him by a fan who said they believed that the story centers around creating our own families by choosing the people one surrounds oneself with, an admitted revelation to Selznick. I see where that applies to both film and book, but my own thoughts lean more toward themes of healing ourselves through helping others heal, as Hugo (Butterfield) and Isabella (Moretz) demonstrate not only with Papa Georges (Kingsley) but with each other, and as Station Inspector Gustav (Cohen) and flower girl Lisette (Emily Mortimer) embody. Much of Hugo’s backstory supports this theme as well, without refuting Selznick’s preferred thesis.

Arrow Video’s presentation of HUGO on 4K UHD is presented in stunning 2160p in 2D, and in 3D as it was always meant to be viewed by Scorsese (in 1080p), as well as a 2D version on the included blu-ray disc. The image quality in 2D (I am not fully equipped to evaluate the 3D presentation, though the consensus among other reviewers is that there is a marked improvement from the Paramount BRD) is an order of magnitude crisper and clearer than the previous Blu-ray release, without being over-sharpened. Color fidelity is fantastic, as is density in blacks and whites. The sound is also up to speed, making this the most pleasing copy of the film I’ve seen since it’s theatrical release.

Extras include an audio commentary by Jon Spira; the theatrical trailer (HD; 2:18); as well as a third disc featuring Inventing Hugo Cabret, a new interview with Brian Selznick, author and illustrator of the original novel on which the film is based; Capturing Dreams, a new interview with director of photography Robert Richardson; The Music of Dreams, a new interview with composer Howard Shore; Ian Christie on Hugo, a new interview with the acclaimed film historian and editor of SCORSESE ON SCORSESE; Secret Machines: Hugo and Film Preservation, a new visual essay by filmmaker and critic Scout Tafoya; Creating New Worlds, a new featurette in which French film historian and author Julien Dupuy examines the life and the legacy of Georges Melies and his impact on cinema and special effects; Papa Georges Made Movies, a new featurette in which film critic and historian Pamela Hutchinson explores the days of early cinema; Melies at the time of Hugo, a new a visual essay by filmmaker and writer Jon Spira plus five archival featurettes on the making of the film – Shoot the Moon: The Making of Hugo; The Cinemagician: Georges Meliés; The Mechanical Man at the Heart of Hugo; Big Effects, Small Scale; and Sacha Baron Cohen: Role of a Lifetime. There is also an image gallery, a folded mini poster, and an insert booklet written by Farran Smith Nehme.

HUGO is what the French might call an “event cinemalogique,” and deserves all the accolades from critics and movies fans that it has received, as does Arrow Video for the care taken in preparing this package. Most highly recommended.

Anthony Taylor is not only the Minister of Science, but also Defender of the Faith. His reviews and articles have appeared in magazines such as Screem, Fangoria, Retro Fan, Famous Monsters of Filmland, SFX, Video WatcH*Dog, and many more. He is the author of the upcoming book The Art of George Wilson from Hermes Press.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

WARRIORS TWO – 1978
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Sammo Hung, Ka-Yan Leung, Casanova Wong, Hark-On Fung
Director: Sammo Hung
Rated: Not Rated
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: A
BRD Release Date: June 6, 2023
Audio Formats: Cantonese: DTS-HD Master Audio Mono, Mandarin: DTS-HD Master Audio Mono, English: DTS-HD Master Audio Mono, English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1
Video Codec: MPEG-4 AVC
Resolution: 1080p
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Run Time: 95 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

When you think of kung fu movies, the first things that come to mind probably aren’t 1) a hand-based martial art invented by a nun or 2) Sammo Hung. Those two slots are likely devoted to the stylings of Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. But Sammo Hung’s 1978 film WARRIORS TWO is one of the ass-kickingest kung fu flicks of the genre’s heyday, and it’s the movie that places the director as an equal alongside the legends of martial arts filmmakers.

WARRIORS TWO is the simple story of the usual gang of baddies looking to overthrow the town leaving it up to a few scrappy citizens with hearts of gold to uphold the pillars of justice and exact their brand of brutal diplomacy. In the film, a banker, Cashier Wah (Casanova Wong) overhears that gang boss Mo (Hark-On Fung) is planning to kill the town mayor and take over the village. Wah accidentally reveals to one of Mo’s goons that he knows about the boss’s plans for a coup and the gang murders Wah’s mother. Conveniently, the town doctor Mr. Tsan (Ka-Yan Leung) quietly resides as a master of Wing Chun kung fu. Tsan’s lead student Fat Chun (Sammo Hung) eventually persuades the master to teach the unique martial art stylings to Wah, and Wah and Chun team up to vanquish Mo and his designs of usurpation.

Kung fu films are a lot like Kaiju films—most of us are here for the monsters—and in the case of martial arts, the heightened premise of effervescent action. Thankfully the narrative in WARRIORS TWO is so simple and fundamentally relatable that there’s not much plot to get in the way of the kung fu. This can be a slippery slope leaving the human elements of films that star ass-kicking and giant lizards up to mediocrity (see also, any number of GAMERA films guilty of this crime), but director Hung cajoles meaningful performances from his cast who deliver characters we truly care about. Hung’s Fat Chun is comic relief but never corny or over-the-top, and Casanova Wong as Cashier Wah transforms from a timid banker to an assured Wing Chun expert. Ka-Yan Leung as Mr. Tsan is the perfect foil for his eager students, portraying the legendary master as cranky and reluctant, creating a definitive dynamic amongst the cast that cheers on the task at hand.

The problem with kung fu movies is that the action can often drown out the story, and we, as the demanding audience, like to have our cake and eat it too. Many films are also guilty of the opposite problem of leaning on too much pesky talking and plot mechanics and not enough of the flying fists we demanded in the first place. WARRIORS TWO scratches the action itch with long, thrilling, satisfying kung fu sequences, yet never gives up on its characters or story. In an appropriate Zen way, it strikes quite an enjoyable balance.

Director Hung required his actors to study Wing Chun for two months before even developing the story. Once his cast was ready, Hung and his crew began preparing a script to fit the action. Script in hand, WARRIORS TWO took over a year to make, and has grown to be one of Hung’s unequivocal works.

As Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan filled theaters all over the world and thrilled audiences with their martial arts stylings, Sammo Hung wanted to establish himself with his own unique approach to martial arts cinema. His use of the Wing Chun style stands out as a close-quartered hand-to-hand combat form that predicates itself upon the simple notion of the closest distance between two objects being a straight line. So, while the opponents in the film flail about with the typical kung fu fighting, Hung’s heroes are more precise in the face of their attackers. Frankly, not being a martial arts expert myself, I’m not sure I could tell you the difference, but Hung’s premise and unrelenting action sure makes for solid entertainment.

Arrow Video presents WARRIORS TWO in high-definition on Blu-ray disc, with 2K restorations of both the original Hong Kong and shorter international versions of the film. This release includes commentary on the Hong Kong version by martial arts expert Frank Djeng and actor Bobby Samuels. The international version features commentary by action cinema experts Mike Leeder and Arne Venema. The disc also includes the archival documentary “The Way of the Warrior: The Making of Warriors Two” and an interview with actor Ka-Yan “Bryan” Leung who plays Mr. Tsan in the film. Other features in this release include trailers, a poster with art by Joe Kim, reversible sleeve art, and an illustrated collectors booklet with new writing by Jonathan Clements.

In the midst of a fount of recent 60s and 70s Shaw Brothers releases from various home video companies, Arrow Video’s release of Golden Harvest’s and Sammo Hung’s WARRIORS TWO arrives as an efficient action flick with no pressure thrills, that is everything the casual and expert kung fu viewer could ask for. Highly recommended.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of Lucas’s content, be sure to check out his Linktree.