ATLRetro

Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

WATERWORLD – 1995
3 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino
Director: Kevin Reynolds
Rated: Not Rated
Studio: Arrow Video
Region: 4K UHD Region Free
BRD Release Date: June 27, 2023
Audio Formats: English: Dolby Atmos; English: Dolby TrueHD 7.1 (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Run Time: 135 minutes
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Children are the future, and what better way to impress upon them the horrors of the depleted ozone layer and melted ice caps in store for them than with a movie made exclusively for nine-year-old boys? Director Kevin Reynolds appeals to the swashbuckling MAD MAX-inspired tyke living inside all of us with his 1995 film WATERWORLD, placing the post-apocalypse on the high seas.

Kevin Costner stars as “the Mariner” in this briny adventure, who after being outed by the nearest junk atoll community as a “Muto” for his “ichthy” qualities, finds himself on the run with a salvage dealer named Helen (Tripplehorn) and the little girl she cares for, Enola (Majorino). The trio is pursued across the flooded globe by a gang known as the Smokers, led by charismatic baddie Deacon (Hopper) who wants Enola for the mysterious tattoo on her back that is rumored to be a map that leads to the only remaining dry land on the planet.

Costner’s Mariner isn’t just a reluctant hero and custodian of the two stowaways needing his gigantic trimaran boat to get around, he’s brooding, and contemplative, and… kind of an asshole. What Mel Gibson did for the post-apocalyptic moody disposition, Costner turns into smug and unlikable. Part of the problem is we’re not sure what he really wants; he’s got gills. He’s got webbed feet. He can get to the earth’s drowned cities and plunder Davy Jones’s locker like any pro fish-man could. Outside of fending off scurvy (and why hasn’t he evolved out of that problem?) Mariner, with his enormous seafaring rig and its 50-caliber machine gun, is pretty well set for whatever the high seas throws at him. The only thing we know he wants is these helpless women off his boat! It’s completely understandable that the film’s hero should have some advantages, but Mariner’s situation leaves him at the top of the food chain. Lack of incentive and Costner’s prickly, heavy-handed reluctance doesn’t do much to get us rooting for him.

Deacon and his gang of ruffians, while wildly more entertaining, also kind of have it made. They have jet skis; they have a cool hideout. They somehow have dry cigarettes and plenty of gasoline. And other than belittling his own people and making a few empty threats, Deacon doesn’t do anything inherently bad. He eventually gets around to kidnapping Enola, but he’s not even a creep about it. Dennis Hopper’s Deacon comes off more like a weird uncle who also just happens to be a high seas buccaneer. That’s not to say he’s not loads of fun to watch; Hopper (as is often the case in this film) delivers mundane lines like, “That’s why I love children: no guile,” with the relatable dryness of a man quietly frustrated after having just been insulted by a Smoker youth. Deacon wants to be the mustache twirling bad guy, but he’s ultimately just ineffective and comes off as downright lovable.

The narrative problems that plague WATERWORLD don’t prevent it from being the fun, daring adventure it wants to be. The overall swaggering tone of the film is often hampered, honestly, by Costner’s lack of any humor whatsoever. The scenes prominently featuring the actor consequently grind to a halt. The rest of the film seems to know exactly what it is, while Costner carries on like he’s paying the film’s $175 million production bill. Infamously known for not using a British accent in he and director Reynolds’ prior adventure film for nine-year-old boys, ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES, Costner is a drag in WATERWORLD and proves that he’s best when portraying regular guys and baseball players.

Filming almost exclusively on water for the entire production is certainly not without intrinsic challenges. The enormous breadth of Mariner’s trimaran dictated the football field-size of the movie’s key atoll set and indebted Universal to pony up and extend Hawaii’s Kona Airport tarmac by a quarter mile to be able to accommodate the 747 tasked with delivering the titanic boat. The movie’s trimaran-sized costs along with tomes of bad and inaccurate press that included tales of people dying on set, ultimately affected the public perception of the film, suggesting that it was a problematic and troubled production. While rife with its share of challenges, troubles didn’t really occur until near the end of shooting when Reynolds dropped out of the picture due to creative differences with Costner, who took over as director and finished the film.

Arrow Video presents WATERWORLD on 4K Ultra High-Definition Blu-ray Disc. The three-disc boxed set is loaded with features that include three cuts of the film: theatrical, TV, and the extended “Ulysses” cut with shots and dialogue originally removed from the theatrical version. The set also includes the feature-length documentary “Maelstrom: The Odyssey of Waterworld,”—a terrific look at the making of the film by Ballyhoo Motion Pictures; the archival featurette “Dances With Waves;” and film critic Glenn Kenny’s exploration of the eco-apocalypse subgenre in the feature “Global Warnings.” This massive-sized limited release also includes a two-sided poster, collector postcards, and a 60 page booklet featuring writing on the movie by David J. Moore and Daniel Griffith.

Where MAD MAX was a story of survival in a post-apocalyptic world brought on by oil shortage, the undercurrent of WATERWORLD and its characters’ odyssey for dry land attempts to serve as a warning regarding mankind’s destructive ways, but any sincerity for the film’s greater eco message is drowned out by its adventurous nature and self-awareness. Even the infamous and contextually relevant oil tanker Deacon and company inhabit seems pulled from a Mad magazine parody. Logic problems and Costner’s misguided intensity aside, the juggernaut that is WATERWORLD sets a course directly into our nine-year-old hearts.

Fathoms of fun that’s only inches deep. Recommended.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly. Look for Lucas on Twitter, Facebook, and Letterboxd, and for all of his content, be sure to check out his Linktree.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

By Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE– 1974
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw, Martin Balsam, Hector Elizondo, Earl Hindman
Director: Joseph Sargent
Rated: R
Distributor: Kino Lorber
Region: Region Free 4K Ultra HD disc, Region A Blu-ray Disc
Release Date: December 20, 2022
Audio Formats: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 Mono (48kHz, 24-bit); English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)
Video Codec: HEVC / H.265
Resolution: Native 4K (2160p)
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Run Time: 104 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

There’s a remarkable efficiency to the traditional hijack film; everyday people going about their everyday business, suddenly find themselves at the mercy of a few greedy, entitled, weaponized maniacs. This scenario presents a most basic and human conflict that requires little backstory or explanation of motives. It’s a thrill of disruption we can all relate to and hopefully only ever view from a vicarious stance. Joseph Sargent’s 1974 feature THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE is textbook hijacking that tasks one of the world’s largest transportation authorities with the simple job of coughing up a million bucks for eighteen lives.

Based on the novel by John Godey (aka Morton Freedgood), the plot is as basic as a hijacking plot needs to be: Robert Shaw’s Mr. Blue and his three blandly color-coded partners descend upon a New York City subway train, dressed alike and armed with machine guns, ready to bill the City a million in cash for an hour of their time at the cost of a handful of voters lest the money be delivered one minute past the time allotted; then it’s one body per minute until the bounty arrives. The MTA savvy Mr. Green (Balsam) is essential in helping facilitate communications and mechanics while hot-headed Mr. Gray (Elizondo) and quiet Mr. Brown (Hindman) run crowd control on the single car of eighteen people the men have separated from the rest of the train. Between telling people to “shyaaad-up” back at NYC Transit Police Headquarters, Lieutenant Zachary Garber (Matthau) does his damnedest to negotiate with the inflexible Mr. Blue and his very specific demands.

What plays out is not only the rescue of eighteen innocent people but evidence of the power a handful of thugs can have over one of the biggest cities in the world. The math doesn’t add up. The problem isn’t gun-toting ruffians with dollar signs in their eyes (those types are forever ubiquitous); the problem is a city on the brink with major money troubles and a crumbling infrastructure. All it takes is four armed men to bring the entire town to its knees.

New York City is its own worst enemy in this film. City authorities are complacent, lazy, and in the case of the mayor (Lee Wallace) who is sick in bed, downright fearful. Mr. Blue and Mr. Green are pulling the city’s strings, while Mayor “Mr. Yellow”—wrapped in yellow blankets and pajamas—frets over a paltry million dollars (a little over six million in 2023 dollars) as he watches game shows from his bedroom in Gracie Mansion. Meanwhile the Transit Police remain nonplussed by the subterranean standoff, and lest we forget the undercover officer on the train who only reveals himself at the last minute, even then of little help. It’s the bureaucratic stranglehold of civic duty that results in the singular heroic act of the film from motorman Caz Dolowicz (Tom Pedi) who charges headlong into the fray, and pays the ultimate price for a city who can’t get its act together. Its gross mismanagement demands a different set of priorities from its servants making Dolowicz indifferent to the hijacking. “I’m warnin’ you, mister, that’s city property you’re fooling around with!” Dolowicz shouts to Mr. Gray. “Why didn’t you go grab a goddamn airplane like everybody else?”

Heroics aside, it’s the fear of a teeming, displeased public at large that scares the mayor into finally handing over the ransom money. Desperate more for acceptance than a solution, the mayor’s wife eloquently puts things in perspective for him by noting that paying the ransom ultimately means “18 sure votes.” And as the mayor agonizes over marginal votes and petty cash, Police are gathered at subway entrances to not only aid in apprehending the hijackers, but to control the angry crowds for when the mayor finally arrives on scene.

Cooler heads prevail… sort of. While Misters Blue, Green, Grey, and Brown cripple the entire city, Lieutenant Garber is literally all colors as indicated by his multicolored plaid shirt. And while also a byproduct of poor city management—note the obnoxious yellow tie around his neck—he eventually casts his bureaucratic nature asunder and realizes a few simple lies to the hijackers will buy everyone a little more time.

New York City administration fumbles its way through the entire movie. Even as the cash is being delivered, police are subject to the city’s natural disorder and must contend with traffic issues and car accidents. They get no dispensation for being the authority. The police are as much at the mercy of the city as the city is at the mercy of Mr. Blue and his cohorts.

You won’t find a cast of such grizzled performers anywhere else so perfect for 1970s New York. Shaw, Matthau and company have been through the wars and are the brutal sages from the days when old men still ran barber shops. They don’t make ‘em like those guys anymore.

And how can we forget that pounding, iconic David Shire score that is New York itself transformed into sound. Shire evokes structure amongst chaos with a jazzy funk that echoes the turbulent city we see on film. The singular riff that bangs out the credits almost sings to us, “ONE, TWO, THREE.”

Kino Lorber presents THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE on 4K UHD disc. The 4K features a brand new commentary from film historians Steve Mitchell and Nathaniel Thompson. This single new supplement is also included on the Blu-ray Disc in the set which contains the original bonus features from Kino’s 2016 home video release.

The film bets big on the entertainment value of regular people in trouble who are counting on an unreliable system to bail them out. It’s a visceral conceit that transcends crazy people, loaded weapons, and irresponsible civics, and appeals to the simple desire of going about our business and the power that authorities have to ensure that freedom. An amazing film, a great presentation. Recommended!

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.

By Lucas Hardwick
Contributing Writer

Welcome to Apes on Film! This column exists to scratch your retro-film-in-high-definition itch. We’ll be reviewing new releases of vintage cinema and television on disc of all genres, finding gems and letting you know the skinny on what to avoid. Here at Apes on Film, our aim is to uncover the best in retro film. As we dig for artifacts, we’ll do our best not to bury our reputation. What will we find out here? Our destiny.

ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS – 1964
4 out of 5 Bananas
Starring: Celia Kaye, George Kennedy, Carlos Romero, Larry Domasin, and Junior
Director: James B. Clark
Rated: Not Rated
Studio: Kino Lorber & Scorpion Releasing
Region: 2K Blu-Ray, Region A
BRD Release Date: October 18, 2022
Audio Formats: English DTS-HD MA 2.0 Mono
Video Codec: MPEG-4 AVC
Resolution: 1080p
Aspect Ratio: 1:85:1
Run Time: 93 minutes
CLICK HERE TO ORDER

Ask any kid in a Steven Spielberg movie and they will tell you that grown-ups are terrible people. But long before Spielberg was torturing children with dinosaurs, aliens, ghosts, and death, movies like ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS were around to introduce kids to the very grown-up institution of suffering at an early age.

Based on author Scott O’Dell’s young adult novel, which is based on a true story, the film tells the account of Karana (Celia Kaye), a young Native American girl living alone on San Nicholas Island off the coast of California, it doesn’t seem so horrible at the outset. In fact, the Chumash tribe as portrayed in James B. Clark’s (FLIPPER,MY SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN) 1964 film live a rather idyllic existence on the California Channel Islands. That is until the day a white sea captain (George Kennedy) and a group of Aleut natives swing by to round up a few otter skins and renege on the promise to exchange the otter hunt for iron knives and harpoons. Instead, Chief Chowig (Carlos Romero) — Karana’s father — takes a couple of fatal rounds to the chest, eventually forcing the tribe to seek refuge on the mainland with a group of Spanish missionaries. In a rush to escape the island, Karana’s brother Ramo (Larry Domasin) is left behind. Being the only family Ramo has left, Karana swims back to the island to be with him.

In the spirit of suffering, things do not get easier for Karana as the story progresses, and she continues to endure one hardship after another. Considering the limited population on the island after her tribe leaves, it’s easy to deduce that Ramo’s fate is sealed early in the film. Viewers needn’t sweat these early plot twists; the movie isn’t as concerned with storytelling mechanics so much as it is with character development and Karana’s singular journey.

At the heart of the film is Karana’s relationship with the Aleut dog that’s left behind. Karana’s kinship with the dog she calls Rontu (Junior) — meaning “fox eyes” — is rather ironic, and becomes a comment on grief, forgiveness, compassion, and ultimately companionship. While most audiences will grapple with how to reconcile their feelings for Rontu considering his alliance with the wild dogs on the island and ultimately his fatal attack on Ramo, Karana becomes the example of benevolence out of simple kindness or loneliness, or little of both. Karana does reluctantly attempt to kill Rontu out of revenge at first, but the dog survives and then never leaves her side, forging a nearly inseparable bond between the two. Later in the film, Rontu disappears for a time leaving Karana alone to build arguably less meaningful relationships with other animals. Between his attack on Ramo and his penchant for disappearing, it can be a bit difficult for the audience to have a consistent fondness for Rontu. When Rontu eventually passes (we all saw it coming, right?) our hearts break for Karana’s loss and not necessarily for Rontu.

Unlike the adults in the film, Karana’s motivation is frequently driven by compassion. It’s Karana who goes back to be with her stranded brother, not the grown-ups. Karana forgives Rontu for killing Ramo. Karana pardons the Aleuts enough to make friends with one of their own when they return for more otters. Karana’s isolation gives her the freedom to make any choice she wants, and at every turn she chooses empathy and kindness. Meanwhile, the adults in the film routinely choose greed, betrayal, and cowardice.

Celia Kaye — the future ex-Mrs. John Milius — is simply adorable as the lovable Karana. Her spirited performance not only exhibits her resilience during the tough times, but guides the viewer’s emotions through the struggles of her lonesome existence.

Audiences familiar with Hollywood dog pedigrees may recognize Rontu’s (Junior) resemblance to his father Spike who famously portrayed the ill-fated OLD YELLER in the 1957 Disney film. Unlike Rontu’s fair-weather disposition, Junior never left Kaye’s side during the film’s production.

Very little is known about the real Lone Woman of San Nicholas Island, but most of what is known remains true for Clark’s adaptation of O’Dell’s novel. Eventually baptized as Juana Maria after she was brought to the mainland, the Lone Woman’s real name was never known. She belonged to the Nicoleño tribe who had inhabited the islands for 10,000 years, but were indeed forced to seek refuge when an opposing Alaskan tribe made their way down to California to hunt otters. Some accounts say Juana Maria had a son who eventually died, while most contend that she was completely alone until discovered by a fur trapper in 1853. Maria was assumed to be around 50 years old at the time of her discovery and not one member of the Nicoleño tribe remained alive upon her arrival to the mainland.

In the film, Karana is eventually rescued by a group of missionaries. And while suffering is a mainstay throughout the movie, the story ends on a happy note of relief, leaving out the part where the real Juana Maria dies of dysentery seven weeks after her arrival to the mainland. Thankfully, the film doesn’t play out the theme of suffering to its fullest extent.

Kino Lorber and Scorpion Releasing present ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS in a vibrant 2K high-definition restoration on Blu-ray disc. The only feature to speak of is a fun collection of trailers for young adult movies of the era. And with a briskly paced 93-minute runtime, Karana’s life on film is a historical storybook tale suitable for the whole family.

Written by grown-ups, made by grown-ups, produced by grown-ups, ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS presents a family-friendly version of a true tale that’s just troubling enough for children to consider things like death, betrayal, and loneliness as real constants that they must eventually face.

When he’s not working as a Sasquatch stand-in for sleazy European films, Lucas Hardwick spends time writing film essays and reviews for We Belong Dead and Screem magazines. Lucas also enjoys writing horror shorts and has earned Quarterfinalist status in the Killer Shorts and HorrOrigins screenwriting contests. You can find Lucas’ shorts on Coverfly.

Ape caricature art by Richard Smith.